At a press conference on Thursday, Whiplash the cowboy monkey said he was an addict and that he was entering rehab immediately.
Speaking through Sparky "Sparkler" Timmons, a well respected 'Monkey Whisperer' and longtime friend of Whiplash, he went on to describe how life on the road and an old back injury from a fall off a dog led to his dependence on alcohol and prescription pain killers.
Whiplash, whose hair looked matted, sat on the podium and chained smoked Marlboro's throughout the 12 minute press conference, pooping once. "I want to say I'm sorry to The Worlds Toughest Rodeo, I feel I let them down." Whiplash monkey-shrieked and Timmons translated. When asked about returning to the rodeo or TV, Whiplashs' agent Ron Rosenbaum said "The only thing we're concerned about right now is getting Whiplash healthy."
There were some tense moments towards the end of the press conference when Taco John got out of a limousine just feet from the assembled news media. Taco John, who gave Whiplash his start in the entertainment business by casting him in commercials for his restaurants, has admitted to giving the then unknown monkey powerful pain killers to help calm his nerves on the set.
"He was careful not to make eye contact." Buzz Greely said of John. Greely was there covering the event for "The Monkey Rustler" the oldest independent magazine for monkey rustlers and ropers.
Immediately after the press conference Whiplash climbed onto, on top of and then into a waiting helicopter that took him to the undisclosed rehab facility.
"It's ironic isn't it?" said Wendy Nash, "He could rope and wrangle everything but his addictions."
2 comments:
Oh Grant. The first time that I saw the rodeo picture, I was so focused on the rider that I failed to notice his mount. This is so funny. Check us out periodically. Based on what I've seen of your basement, I think that you might occasionally enjoy the exchange. We request everyone to be civil, and thus far, it has been. Thanks.
Please send your thoughts and prayers out to Whiplash and his family.
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