The shockwaves are still being felt all over the rock world as Mick Jagger, legendary front man for The Rolling Stones admitted on Tuesday that he has never had sex.
"It's all a lie." He told reporters who asked him about his well known love life. Soon after breaking down Jagger, 65 told the shocked press assembled outside his Dirbyshire estate about the invitro fertalizations and his shyness around women saying, "It's not that I don't like women I do, love 'em in fact. It's just that whenever I'm alone with a girl, I get really nervous and my hands start to sweat real bad. Well, you know, after your hands start sweating things get all screwed up." He then added, "I wasn't trying to keep it a secret, you guys just assumed."
Nigel Blackbush of BBC 1 asked the now less-cool singer if his virgin status also applied to men. "Heck yeah, that's gross!" The Grammy winning strike out king shot back.
Rock pundits are now left to question and re-think everything they thought they had known. "I have real concerns about Elvis Costello now." Admitted Earl Fisk, owner of "The Treble Cleff" a small music shop in the countryside town of Blabberbreath.
As Jagger turned his back to the weirded out throng and started up his driveway, a few snickers could be heard among the crowd.
When I got back to my hotel I showered before heading down to the local pub. Once inside, I set my sights on a hot little brunette sitting all alone at the corner of the bar. I raised my pint and gave her a smile.
"This ones for Mick," I said to myself as she smiled back at me. "This ones for Mick."
"It's all a lie." He told reporters who asked him about his well known love life. Soon after breaking down Jagger, 65 told the shocked press assembled outside his Dirbyshire estate about the invitro fertalizations and his shyness around women saying, "It's not that I don't like women I do, love 'em in fact. It's just that whenever I'm alone with a girl, I get really nervous and my hands start to sweat real bad. Well, you know, after your hands start sweating things get all screwed up." He then added, "I wasn't trying to keep it a secret, you guys just assumed."
Nigel Blackbush of BBC 1 asked the now less-cool singer if his virgin status also applied to men. "Heck yeah, that's gross!" The Grammy winning strike out king shot back.
Rock pundits are now left to question and re-think everything they thought they had known. "I have real concerns about Elvis Costello now." Admitted Earl Fisk, owner of "The Treble Cleff" a small music shop in the countryside town of Blabberbreath.
As Jagger turned his back to the weirded out throng and started up his driveway, a few snickers could be heard among the crowd.
When I got back to my hotel I showered before heading down to the local pub. Once inside, I set my sights on a hot little brunette sitting all alone at the corner of the bar. I raised my pint and gave her a smile.
"This ones for Mick," I said to myself as she smiled back at me. "This ones for Mick."
1 comment:
Hilarious!
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